We interrupt this blog to bring you yet another confession......

Yesterday I came to the realization ( I kinda had a clue ), that I can be just a wee bit obsessive... I have been preparing my home for a gathering ( my 50th Bday... yikes...you may send me support if you have survived this milestone, or go "nanni nanni boo boo", if you haven't... a shameless plea for sympathy ... I know)... but back to the main story ....... while I stumbled across two very interesting reads.
The first one was a comment that was left on a decorator's blog by someone. It was berating her for being too obsessed with beautifying her home and showing off her pretty "things". Saying that there are more important things out there and go take part in "life", so to speak. I read it and thought at first, "how rude", but then the little voice in my head said to me (shut up, I know you hear one too ) "hey dummy, he's talkin' to you too!." Well, I realize that I can spend a lot of time sewing, painting, upholstering, decorating and tweakin all my little "pretties", but that's my hobby (especially now that it's just me and "Stinky", hanging out) .. "I'm not that bad..." another little voice said.... (isn't it funny when they argue with each other... lol..).
So, I went about my day, sprucing up every little nook and cranny of my house, when I came across the office (after reading Gollum for so long, I want to call it the library , sounds so much better) and I looked at the shelves...... Oh, let me move this around a bit, I tweaked until my arms and shoulders ached, still not satisfied with the result, too may pictures here, the vase is too large there, books are not the " right " colors , well.... you get the picture. What was going to take me 15 minutes, ended up taking two plus hours....

As I was taking some books off the shelf to rearrange , I grabbed one that I had never read. It's called "Simple Abundance" by Sarah Ban Breathnach. Wondering what it was about, I RANDOMLY opened it up to a page titled " Little Miss Perfect"... I kid you NOT !!!! I sat down to read what this little section was about and the first sentence was a quote from Anne Lamott. .. "Perfectionism is the voice of the oppressor, the enemy of the people. It will keep you cramped and insane your whole life." Wow, I thought, that's a bit harsh! Nothing wrong with a little perfection... Another sentence said, "The road to hell is paved by perfectionist working with grains of sand..". Uh-oh..missed a spot... She summarized by saying, "Like workaholism, aspiring to be Little Miss perfect is an addiction of low self worth." She goes on to say that when we were young and did something right, suddenly voices other than our own sang our praises. It sounded like the Heavenly hosts, Champagne or chocolate couldn't begin to compare with the ecstasy of genuine compliments. We're creatures who live by our senses and since the response we got for perfection felt wonderful -even if for only ten seconds- we wanted to repeat the experience. So we set in motion a cycle of self-destruction that frequently felt as comfortable as a straitjacket. Still the persuit of perfection is the opiate of choice for millions of women."

Okay, I can relate to the feeling of the "straitjacket" when I want my home to look perfect when I have company. I must confess to being guilty of this ... I needed to read this to remind myself that obsessing over the little details isn't always a healthy thing....
I close the book, finding just the "right" spot for it on my shelf.... hum...it's got a peach and green spine on it. .. I can't put it next to the one with the red spine, it'll clash... So on I go, listening to my "oppressor", searching for a better place for it, maybe next to this photograph.... perched on a bar stool and reaching as far as I could to the right of the shelf I find a great place to put it and then........ (AGAIN, I KID YOU NOT!!!!) the stool slips from under my feet and I fall flat on my butt , still grasping the book in my hand!!!!!!!!!!!! Coincidence?.............. I think NOT. What a clear and loud message I received ! Despite my pain, I had to laugh at this strange and powerful experience.... it was 1:35 a.m..... I GOT THE MESSAGE..... I left the office in disarray and hobbled off to bed.